At this point in life, have learned some stuff, gained some wisdom. Or, least I hope I have.
Have learned to stop settling for less than what I deserve. Should not spend energy on something if it doesn’t serve you (or alternatively, as my massage therapist says, “if it blesses you”, which is quite lovely). Don’t waste time/energy stressing out about something when cannot change it. Be unapologetic about the truth but don’t be a jerk. Even when angry or upset, don’t just react and yell at someone. You don’t know how that will affect someone else’s day. Don’t be an asshole to someone in customer service even if they are being one to you because no need to add more toxicity out into world.
Be more zen but don’t take shit from people. Being zen does not mean letting someone walk all over you.
Obviously, is easier said than done. But good mantras in life generally are so try to think about them and forgive yourself when you fuck up.
Have realized lately that am not interested in seeking things (eg love, friendship, etc). Figure these things will happen when universe decides am ready. I mean, do not want to be unemployed and homeless, so will seek job but will not waste energy on other things. Am tired of being consolation prize.
Would like for once in life to be wanted by:
- ..someone I want. Not someone who is fuckwit and will ditch me when they are stressed, then say I hurt them when I was upset by their ditching me. Also,
- ..Not someone who is using self and has no intention of doing anything other than stringing self along.
- ..someone who initiates and does not make me solely responsible for making all moves.
So, no more fuckwits. Fuckwits who string self along can go to hell. Am worth more than that and will now go and be zen.
Peace love and plants